Communicating by Technology

This is not a post about accounting, or bookkeeping, or even QuickBooks, one of my most favorite subjects of all (she said facetiously). It’s about communication. It doesn’t matter what line of work we’re in, we need to communicate effectively. As I worked through my day today I witnessed several instances of miscommunication, all from the comfort of my desk in my office in my home, where there are no people, except for my husband who occasionally wanders in, and then out again. We don’t even need to be around people to have communication problems, thanks to the telephone, email, Facebook, Twitter, instant messaging, etc. I chatted with four people online this afternoon, and once found myself typing a response to one person in the message box of another.

This is not what I mean when I say we have problems communicating. Sure, it confuses the person receiving the message, but that’s the least of my worries. (The largest of my worries is the way my dogs insist on sleeping at my feet when there’s only room for one of them, but that’s another story.)

When we talk to people we don’t know, and it happens far more than we might think, we’re apt to forget that they aren’t operating with the same sets of assumptions that we are. They don’t even know us, and while we may be funny and entertaining to our friends, people who don’t know us may not react the same way. It’s easy to think we can write to people who don’t know us well as if we were writing to anyone else, but it’s more productive to realize that first we should find out their method of communication, and respond to them appropriately.

Are they formal in email, casual in conversation? Do they hate email so much that they’d rather talk in person? (Yes, there are people like that. I am not one of them.) Do they fear the telephone so much that they’d be happier emailing or IM’ing? When they do email, do they like to stick to just the facts, and leave out the extraneous chit chat? Should you forget about the technology altogether and meet them for coffee? Obviously, this only works if they’re close by. Otherwise, you’re going to have to make do.

Do the words you use mean the same thing to them that they mean to you? Words are more than a few letters strung together. The emotions they evoke are unpredictable, and the intonation when they’re spoken says as much as the words themselves. In email we don’t have intonation or facial expression or anything of that sort, and no, emoticons aren’t quite the same thing. In fact, emoticons might annoy your reader, if they’re of the anti-emoticon camp. (The Anti-Emoticons have a strong following, so be careful.)

We have only the words and the sentence structure to guide us, so it’s helpful if we use them judiciously. Short sentences are good, politeness is good, and remembering that your contact may not have any idea what you’re talking about is also good.

Providing enough information is also helpful. Today I searched extravagantly for a phone number because the sender hadn’t included one on his original email. “Call me,” doesn’t have much relevance if I can’t find the phone number.

I’m guilty, in my emails, of being overly familiar. I’m likely to start off with, “Hey, how’s it going?” I’m likely to make jokes without even knowing if the receiver likes jokes. Maybe they don’t want to hear my sad excuses for jokes. Of course, it’s awkward to send out a questionnaire on communication styles before you begin communicating with someone, so all we can really do is remember that people communicate differently, not only by different methods, but with different preconceptions and with a wide variety of styles. Make it easier for them. Pay attention to what they’re most comfortable with, and adapt your style so you’re getting your message across.